Cultivating Determination

determination (noun): 1) the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose 2) the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose 3) fixed direction or tendency toward some object or end.

I often think back to my race results at last year's Great White North (1/2 iron) and think about what it will take for me to be faster this year. I want to have a better time this year. But I have been asking myself if I am determined to achieve that.

Clearly I need to train for the race but I wonder if cultivating a spirit of determination won't somehow be even more important to my success this season. I'm not what you'd call a "natural athlete" so, as much as I love triathlon, I sometimes feel like I'm out of my comfort zone. In academics, I am totally comfortable. I work hard and do well. I don't have to "dig deep" to find what it takes to get things done. In sport, it's a different thing. I am much more aware of the work it takes for me to be successful and I know that I don't always "bring it" like I should.

I was talking to Jordan the other day and she said that she makes sure she's suffering during a race. I don't really do that. I go at a pace that I think I can sustain for the entire race without suffering. What if I were willing to suffer for the cause? And, besides race day, how would my training be different if I found a way to push harder?

This morning, I asked Dan (my husband) about how to cultivate determination. He said that it's a matter of pride, competitiveness, and responsibility. He works hard during workouts so he doesn't feel regret afterwards. If he's running with someone faster than him, he vows not to lose sight of them; if someone else is slightly slower than him, he vows not to let them pass. He feels that, as someone who's been running for years, he has a responsibility to demonstrate that he has continued to grow and improve over the years and, in that way, to be a good role model for new people.

I usually work hard during workouts so I feel like it was worth it but I know I could work harder. I am easily overwhelmed and demoralized when people are faster than me so having people around me who could push me ends up having the opposite effect that it should. In races, I worry that I'll burn out before the end if I push too hard so I don't give it as much as I probably could. I need to find the determination and competitive spirit that will make me step up to the plate and do this like I mean it!

My friend, Dave, put this quote on his Facebook page a while ago and I loved it:

Dissatisfaction is a great starting point, for it is right there that we have the most power, strength, and energy to push change through. ~ David DeNotaris

I enjoy the training and the races and now it's time to take this to a new level. It's been too easy for me to let my disappointment tip backwards into feeling demoralized and unconfident rather than using it as a motivator for change. This season is about so much more than physical training for me. I need to develop the psychological outlook of an athlete. I need to be determined.