Time Gone By

It has been a very long time since I wrote about my training. I have been overwhelmingly busy with work. This term, I taught three courses, two of them new for me, so I have been pretty busy keeping the courses going and managing 320 students. The term was officially over for me last Wednesday, when I submitted the final grades and it's been very nice to have a couple days to think about something other than lecture prep. 

So, to try to recap what the last several weeks have held:

February and March were quite good months as far as the training went. I did all of my workouts, missing only a couple of swims in those two months. I could feel myself getting stronger and fitter. Although work and training were pretty much my life, I actually felt happy and balanced and very motivated. I especially enjoyed the spin season with my triathlon club. We did three good, hard workouts a week and it was so satisfying to accomplish them. I really like the group of people who attended the spins. My job, as part of the board of the club, was to coordinate and manage the spins so I got to know everyone who was there and feel like I was part of something really good.

April, though, was a hard month. Suddenly, it seemed, my workload caught up to me and I was working very long hours trying to get the last of the term's work finished up - creating the last few lectures, preparing for the final exams, meeting with panicked students, etc. Somehow I still managed to fit my workouts in, although sometimes I had to defer them to another day. Our spin season ended on April 22 but the weather hasn't been that nice since then so outdoor workouts have been a little miserable. I have found myself in a gloomy place this last week - so tired, depressed by the weather and getting a little more stressed about my looming race.

Today I went on a long group ride with a few members of the tri club. It was actually a lovely day and I was feeling strong but I rode with a few people who are quite a bit faster than me. I am faster than I was last year but rather than feeling good about that, the ride today just made me feel a bit lame. I also get the feeling that my coaches are a little unhappy with me for messing with my schedule. I know how hard I've worked to accomplish everything these past couple of months - to do my job well and to do my workouts faithfully - and yet I am left feeling like I didn't do enough and I am not where I should be.

Now, with only eight weeks to go until the race, I would like to be feeling positive and strong and more and more ready. Maybe this is just how it is. I know there are highs and lows and this will probably turn itself around in the next little while. There is not much I can do but carry on, keep training, focus on what works for me, and take one day at a time. I am also going to focus on accepting myself for what I am and where I'm at. I have time until the race and I'll keep plugging on toward the goal.