Sunday, September 18, 2011

Off Kilter

The last two weeks have been incredibly stressful for me, physically and psychologically. I would say that if you added up all the stress I had in the six years it took for me to do my PhD, it would not be as much stress as I have experienced in the last two weeks.

A week after starting my formal Ironman training program, I started a new job in nursing administration at a major hospital. I had misgivings about the job going into it; I did this kind of work before so it was familiar to me but I wasn't sure I wanted to do it again. Still, I needed a job so when I was approached about this one, I could hardly pass it up. Plus, it's flattering to be sought out, but that can cloud one's judgement. My worries about the job were valid and I now find myself in a troubled organization that has values and practices that are completely incongruent with my own. As well, I don't identify very much with nursing anymore but this job requires that I do. I feel duplicitous as I try to put on a happy face and appear enthusiastic about the hopes they have for my role, while all the while wanting to leave and never go back. The people in my department are very nice and there are little rays of sunshine that make me think I'll survive but so many distressing things happen that it overrides the hopeful moments. Friends and family tell me to give it time but it is much more than that; it just isn't a fit.

Now, my intention in this blog is not to discuss my career angst but to talk about triathlon. But life cannot be compartmentalized and my job has upset the balance of my life and impacted my training tremendously. In part, it's just that I have to get used to having a much more structured workday than I have had in years. I can do that - lots of people work full time and train and I can do it, too. But, more than that, it's the psychological toll that this has taken on me. The stress has made my training more difficult and I have not been able to enjoy it on the same level.

At the moment, I am swimming two times a week, running five times a week and doing two strength workouts per week. The swimming and strength training are fine. It's the running where I see the stress and fatigue affecting me. I had been getting progressively faster as I trained more often but I have seen a huge drop in my performance in the last two weeks. I have had some runs that are over a minute slower than my usual pace per kilometre. This past Wednesday, I had absolutely the worst run of my entire life without a doubt. My pace was barely faster than a walking pace (more than two minutes/kilometre slower than usual) and I suffered through the whole thing. My legs would hardly move and they hurt! Thursday's run was a little better and yesterday's run was actually my fastest run in the last year so I went from being profoundly discouraged to as happy as can be in three short days.

I know that I have to keep this in perspective. Every run won't be wonderful and I know that some of these awful runs are directly attributable to my current life stress. It's not that I just suck. Even during the terrible run on Wednesday, I tried to view it as perseverance training so I could learn how to keep myself going when I felt as bad as could be, which is probably how I'll feel at some or many points during my Ironman race. It's all worth something - even the bad days. But what distresses me the most is that my job stress has taken away from me something that was going really well, something that I was so excited about getting into. I haven't lost my will to train or my excitement about Ironman but the positive energy I had is being pushed aside because I am directing energy toward coping with the job.

I am plotting my escape. Two things are very important to me: That my work is an extension of what I believe in and that my life has balance. I need to set these things right. I don't know where this will lead me but I will seek something that puts my life in order again so I can train with a renewed spirit.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Official Beginning of my Ironman Training

In the last three weeks, I have been building in a few more workouts and developing some structure to my training, in anticipation of the official beginning of my Ironman training. I've done two swims, two bikes, two runs, and three strength workouts per week. I've noticed the increase in activity; I've felt a little tired but it's been OK. Yesterday I met with my coaches to review my strength training program and to receive my training schedule for September.

The strength training is going well and I am already noticing improvements. One of my coaches has me focusing mainly on learning to recruit my glutes and on strengthening them as well as my core. I will carry on with this for a while and she has increased the effort for some of the exercises by increasing the weight or reps or modifying the technique to make the exercise a little harder.

My other coach has written out my training plan for the year and has given me a detailed daily plan for the next month. It actually starts tomorrow. Because of my hip arthritis, I have to train for the run differently than most people would so what my coach will have me doing is lots of shorter runs rather than fewer runs of longer distance. The longest run I will ever do is 90 minutes but I will be running five times per week from now until taper time next June. The idea behind this is that the training load will come from frequency rather than distance, although, of course, the mileage will accumulate over all those runs. But my hip will never have to endure a lot of mileage at one time.

I will not be doing any cycling between now and the end of October, which means I'll pretty much be on the trainer the next time I ride. It seems weird to me to drop cycling off altogether but the idea here is that I need the time to get the running in and to focus on strength training, which my coaches say will make a huge difference to my cycling capabilities. At the end of October, I'll add in 2 hours of cycling per week, gradually building to the point where I will be doing six rides of six hours each during April and May.

I'm a pretty good swimmer but I'm not super fast. I will be swimming with a small group that my one coach leads, starting on September 6. Here we will focus on the development of technical swimming efficiency to minimize energy expenditure, with the goal being a relaxing, comfortable swim at Ironman that will leave me feeling good for the bike and run. I think that with the next 10 months of training, I will be able to do the swim in 1:30 and feel good when I'm done.

I asked my coach about weight loss during training. He said it will be a byproduct of the increasing training volume, if I focus on good healthy eating. I hope he's right. I seem to have the slowest metabolism in the world but I can certainly help it along by choosing better foods; I hope I can lose at least 15 pounds by race day.

My coach had a great idea for rewarding myself as I train. He suggested that I get a big jar and put a coin in it for each day that I stick to my goals for that day, including eating well, drinking enough water and doing the workout for the day. Over the 10 months, it will add up to a lot of money (if I am a good girl!) and I can use it to buy myself a nice Ironman Coeur D'Alene souvenir. I will have to work hard every day just to give myself a few cents but I know I will want to be able to drop that coin in the jar everyday so I can see this working well as a motivator.

My other coach assured me during our conversation that I am not alone in feeling like a bit of a rickety old lady sometimes. Things just aren't what they used to be when you get to my age. But that doesn't mean any of this is impossible! They both also told me that of course I was going to finish this race. No doubt. It's nice to hear that from him. I am actually pretty sure I can do the distance. What worries me is the time limit! But with the training, I should improve my speed enough to make it!

I felt encouraged and excited when I left them yesterday morning. It's exciting to see the plan and to think about how fit I will be next June! Let the games begin!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Swimming Practice

In an effort to address the swim issues I had in Chelan (and also, to a lesser extent, at Great White North in 2009), Dan, Adam and I drove up to Jasper National Park for a swim in Lake Annette. It's a four hour drive (one way) for us to get there but it's worth it to be able to swim in a lovely mountain lake. We also just wanted to have a beach day and what nicer place can there be? It's amazing to sit on the beach and look up at Mt. Edith Cavell. Just gorgeous.

Dan and I put on our wetsuits and hopped in to the water. It was cold and I didn't want to put my face in! But, I got used to it pretty quickly and off we went. We swam parallel to the beach but a ways off shore, crossing a small cove. I mapped the swim afterward and we covered 500m. It wasn't a totally serious swim as far as distance and effort went! We stopped and talked along the way. Still, it was a worthwhile swim because I learned something. First, the water was cold and it does take your breath away a bit. It wasn't that cold in Chelan but it was still chilly there and it seems that hitting the chilly water affects me and makes it a little harder to catch my breath. Perhaps if I try doing a warm-up swim just before a race, it might help me get used to the water and swim without trouble. People have since suggested that to me, including my coach, so I will give it a try next time I race. Second, I noticed that my wetsuit is kinda tight. *Blush* A little more room might help with the whole breathing thing!

ChelanMan

I'm a little late getting my race report posted but here it is nevertheless! I did the olympic distance triathlon in Chelan, Washington on July 16. It was wonderful in many ways and disappointing in others.

The area is gorgeous - much like the Okanagan - and the lake is beautiful, clean, and clear. It's like swimming in a sandy basin filled with tap water. The bike course went out along the lake and was really beautiful. The run covered the first part of the bike course, again along the lake. The weather was nearly perfect, about 70 F with a few clouds. It rained while I was on the bike but I was really only aware of it for a few minutes, probably at a moment when it was raining a little harder. (I started the race with Sister Madonna Bruder right beside me on the beach and she passed me on the bike but when we got to the top of the biggest hill, I saw them leading her off to the side, wrapped in a blanket. Perhaps she fell; I heard afterward that there were a few minor accidents on the bike course because of the rain. She did, however, do the sprint distance the next day!)

I started the swim in a wave with about 100 people. I got right in there and started swimming. Things were going along tickety-boo until about the 100m mark. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I stopped swimming, sort of bobbed and breaststroked along, trying to catch my breath and get myself under control. I don't know what caused it. It wasn't really panic or anxiety. I wasn't overly nervous about the race, I didn't mind the other people in the water, the lake was nice, I was OK with the distance. But, wow, it took a long time to pull myself together! I just told myself to keep moving forward while I waited for it to pass. At about the halfway point, I did get myself under control and could put my face in again and the rest of the swim was super.

Swim time = 49:56, about 10 minutes longer than I expected.

T1 = 4:21. I was very dizzy from the swim and couldn't move very quickly.

The bike was very nice! The scenery was just beautiful. I felt strong and good. At the beginning, I rode past Dan, who had just started out on his race (he did the 10K run). He cheered me on and that was nice to hear. I drank most of a bottle of Gatorade and ate six Clif Blocs on the bike. This was a very enjoyable part of the day.

Bike time = 1:47:49. I expected to be 1:45 for the bike. The course was actually quite a bit hillier than they describe on the race website so I am OK with my time being a couple minutes longer.

T2 = 3:31. I had to pee, darn it.

The run was mostly a walk! When I finished the bike ride, I hardly had legs to stand on. I had trouble even getting off my bike! I tried to jog out of transition, just for the sake of saving face but that was hard. The run starts uphill! I didn't expect much from the run because I have done very little running in the last couple months. Although I walked a great deal of it, I suddenly found a little something in my legs near the end and I ran the last mile.

Run time = 1:33:55. I expected to do the run in 1:20 so I lost some time there but, in retrospect, it's not a shock that it took the time it did.

When I crossed the finish line, a guy also crossed with me. He was finishing up his half iron. (They had started 40 minutes before my wave but he was still pretty darn fast!) He turned to me and shook my hand and said congratulations and I thought that was a pretty nice touch!

Total time was 4:19 (but I was not last!). I would love to have done it in under 4:00 but the swim issues and lack of running and brick training made that unreachable this time. Still, this was my first olympic distance and I felt happy when I finished.



I plan to work on identifying and learning to deal with the swim anxiety issues or whatever that was. Training will take care of the rest!

My brother, Paul, and my niece, Lizzy, who live in Seattle, met us there for the weekend. Paul did the sprint and Lizzy did the kids' splash and dash. It was great fun to watch them. Adam (my son) also came along and he had a great time cheering us on and taking pictures of the weekend. And of course, being in wine country, we had to stop by and visit a winery and do a little tasting after the race!



Sunday, July 10, 2011

Found my Coaches

Since signing up for Ironman Coeur D'Alene 2012, I have been thinking about getting a coach. I wasn't totally sure if I needed one but I posted the question on the running forum I am part of and I got some answers that helped me decide. Besides providing me with structure, accountability, and general wisdom and advice, a coach will help me by determining an appropriate training volume and keeping my program flexible for life, age, injury, etc. So, with this in mind, I have been looking for a coach.

My iron friend, Christine, suggested two names to me. Either option would have been good but I happened to meet with one before the other and decided to go with her. Her name is Rachel and she and her husband, Glen, will be whipping me into shape for next year. Glen has coached for 25 years, including some of Canada's elite triathletes, and Rachel was, herself, an elite triathlete but both of them seem quite happy to work with me. In fact, it sounds like both of them are really interested in ordinary age group athletes and Rachel has a particular interest in helping people with injuries get to the start and finish line.

They will provide me with a training plan that will come to me in 4 week blocks. The plan will be customized for me, my age, goals, and injury status. I also have the option of some one-on-one time with them, which I will probably take advantage of from time to time, just to be sure my swim form is good, my bike fits me, and that I am doing my weight training properly. In September, Glen is going to start up group swim training sessions at the neighbourhood pool and I will go to those. Rachel is going to get me going on strength training, which they said will help my performance immensely and give me a way to train effectively without an intense volume of running and cycling. That will make my hip happy. I can spin two days a week with the Edmonton Triathlon Club, from December to March, and then get out on the road for some long rides in the couple months before the race. They said that I will only have to run about 16-20K as my longest runs and then they will create a plan that will incorporate plenty of walking into the marathon run portion of the race. Finally, they said that they would help me train my nutrition, too, so that I don't bonk during the race and can finish feeling good.

All in all, I really liked their approach and plan for me. It sounds very doable and I will have the right balance between one-on-one advice, group workouts and structured time on my own. They will help me with mental preparedness, too, which might mean that I don't have to burst into tears on the beach next June, like I do at almost every race!

Talking to them made me feel relieved that I don't have to go into this epic adventure on my own and it also made me very excited to think that, with guidance, hard work on my part, and faith in myself and my training, I might just cross that finish line in under 17 hours.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Iron Idiot, PhD

Well, 12 days ago, I defended my doctoral dissertation and finished up six years of study. It was very nice to finish that, put that stress behind me and look forward to a new and exciting future. Well, I guess I don't do well without stress because it took only 12 days until I threw myself right back into the deep end.

Today I registered for Ironman Coeur D'Alene 2012.

A while ago, I told my friend Jordan that if I ever did an Ironman, it would be a bigger deal to me than getting a PhD. I still think that. Academia comes naturally to me. Being an athlete does not. I suppose that's why it's so important to me to show myself that I can do something amazing like finishing an Ironman.

I was lucky enough to get a general entry spot online. After I registered, I sat at my computer and cried about what I had just done. I am a slow, fat, arthritic triathlete and now I have committed to doing this amazing thing. Wow!

But I know in my heart I had to do this now. I think about it all the time and I knew I would regret it forever if I didn't. I think I can do it and I think my hip will hold up.

This will be a big year for me. I will have to find something inside of myself that I sometimes don't believe is there. But I want to find it, I want to nurture it and I want to show myself that this is possible.

Wish me luck!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Better Get Some Training In!

Yesterday was the end of a very long period of pretty significant stress and I am enjoying a bit of a breather today. Since January, I have taught two university courses and finalized my doctoral dissertation. I also squeezed in a little trip to London, England and Bruges, Belgium, which was very nice but it was kind of in the middle of it all. It's amazing how productive one can be when there's so much to do but it sure is nice to back off a little now and again. Last week was the high point of it all - I successfully defended my dissertation. After a few days of post traumatic stress disorder, I am feeling good!

I did a lot of spinning over the winter but when spin season ended, I didn't get out on the road that much. I have only done a little bit of swimming and an even littler bit of running this spring, too. I did do the MS Bike Tour a couple weeks ago, which is always good training, but otherwise it's all been a little sporadic.

Despite a slight lack of training, time is still moving on and I have an Olympic distance race approaching in 20 days! I will be traveling with Dan (husband) and Adam (son) to Chelan, Washington to meet Paul (brother) and Elizabeth (niece). Paul is doing the sprint race and Lizzie is doing the kids' splash and dash.

In an effort to get a little training in, I have gone for a couple of runs this week. Oh boy do I suck! I'm very slow and can't go very far. I've been afraid to run because of my hip and now I'm paying for it. But today was a little better. I went a little farther at a slightly faster pace and it felt good. I'll keep it up for a couple more weeks and do what I can for the race.

This will be my first Olympic distance race. All things considered, I don't have a huge time goal. I want to see how my bike time is because I think I'm somewhat faster this year. My swim time will be as it usually is. My run time will be brutal and will pretty much ruin my overall time but it is what it is right now.

It's nice to have my mind free to focus on some training now and think about enjoying that race, which I will do regardless of my time!