Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Pumped About Spin

My triathlon club's spin season has begun and we've had five spins now. I am really enjoying it and tonight I'm especially happy that I can say that.

We have two spin instructors. One of them runs the spins in the way that most triathletes would be familiar with - multiple sets of relatively short intervals with changes in cadence and/or gear. It's a very methodical style with hard bursts followed by short rests. Our other instructor is a road cyclist and his style is totally different. We do intervals that are as long as each of the songs he plays and sometimes as long as three or four songs. Last Wednesday, we did a series of tempo intervals that were each the length of a song. Then we did an 18 minute, 90% effort time trial! I thought I was going to puke and then die! Everyone was talking about how hard it was but after we all survived it, it was clear that we all enjoyed it in some strange way. Still, I was a little worried about going back to tonight's class in case it turned out to be an almost-puke-and-die-fest again.

Well, what we did tonight was climbing. After a series of tempo intervals, we cranked our bikes up into the highest gear and climbed a hill for 18 minutes - 5 minutes standing, 4 minutes seated (still in the highest gear), repeat. I thought there was absolutely no way that I could stand for 5 minutes. I was sure I'd be sitting down within 2 minutes. But, amazingly, I stood for the entire time he told us to and I kept up my pace whether we were standing or seated! And I stood up and sprinted for the last minute when he spontaneously decided we should do that. I was shocked! There is no way I could have done that last year. Maybe I am actually getting stronger because of my strength workouts with my personal trainer. And maybe these spins are already helping me improve. The real test will be when I get my bike out on the road next spring, which is a few months off, but I am feeling like there might be hope for better bike times next season.

Tonight's spin made me feel really encouraged. I feel like I can handle whatever he dishes out next week!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Gotta Get a Grip

Yesterday I weighed myself and I was not happy with what I saw. I haven't been nearly as active this year as in the last couple of years and it has taken its toll. I have gained about 8 pounds this year and I was no skinny mini to start with. Really, I ought to lose 30 pounds and all of my fat is around the middle, making me look kinda like the Michelin Man.

I was in a yoga class on Sunday and I couldn't support myself on my arm when attempting side plank. Now, I think part of that was because I've been working on my arms more than usual this week and they are feeling it but it occurred to me that it would be a lot easier if I didn't have 30 extra pounds to try to hold up. I also find it hard to do the twisty poses. I don't know if it's limited flexibility or if I just don't have room for my fat when I try to twist myself! Cycling in aero position will be a little trickier now, too, because all the fat bunches up so I can't breathe when I'm down in that position. I feel weaker than ever, despite my increase in strength training and yoga and I don't feel like my physical appearance is congruent with who I want to be and what I want to accomplish.

I have to get a grip. Other people can do it, even people with a lot further to go than me! I am trying to figure out why it's so hard for me to commit to eating right for weight loss. I am stressed to the max right now because I am sick to death of school and still it goes on and on with endless picky revisions to my dissertation. I feel constant anxiety about it. I need to finish and get on with my life. Meanwhile, I am teaching at the university and doing research work with a professor, which gives me money but takes time away from what I really need to do - get this PhD and get a job! Sometimes, I just want to eat something easy and crappy so I don't have to stress about food, too. But, really, life will always be stressful one way or another and I have to learn to support myself with good nutrition even when times are tough and especially when times are tough. I have to learn not to rely on food for comfort.

So, today is Day 2 of yet another attempt to do this right. I don't have much faith in myself but I have to do this. It will help my poor arthritic hips; it will improve my sport performance because I'll be moving less weight around; it will make yoga easier; I will look better. Can I do this this time? I better!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Coming Back

I've been on a good routine for the last 3 weeks, easing myself back into training and including some workouts that are as much rehab as they are exercise. I am feeling pretty good!

I found myself a personal trainer. She is totally wonderful. She understands my current limitations but also knows how badly I want to get back into things. It's been really fun. I go to her place once a week to work out and it feels great. (I am still seeing my physiotherapist and doing the exercise she assigns as well.)

I also went to hot yoga for the first time a couple weeks ago and I've gone 3 times now. I was afraid to try it because I'm not a heat lover at all but it turned out to be fine. I haven't had any issues with the heat (even though it was 42 degrees in the studio today!). I think, because of the heat, I stretch more than in regular yoga so I really feel it for a couple of days afterward but I can already see small gains in my range of motion. It's encouraging. Today's class was sublime. I found it so therapeutic on so many levels.

I've also been swimming and biking, once a week each. Swimming is fine. I've lost some fitness and speed in the few months I've been out of things with my hip "issues" but I've been keeping the swims at about 1000m and I'll be building up from there. Biking has consisted mostly of commutes to the university campus, which is just under 15 km return. Not a huge distance, for sure, but a good way to start over. Our fall weather has been stellar and it's been awesome to be riding outside this far into the season!

I am going to stick with this routine for the next couple of weeks. Then on Dec 1, the Edmonton Triathlon Club begins its spin season so I'll be upping the biking a bit and spinning on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I enjoy spinning and I think I'll do OK with it now that I have the arthritis pain much more under control.

It is going to take some time for me to get back to where I was and then go beyond that. I'll have to pace myself and give myself time to get my range of motion back and strengthen my hip muscles so the joints will be protected. But I am feeling very hopeful now and really enjoying what I'm doing.

I'm thinking about next year's race season. I want to do only races I haven't done before so I can broaden my experience and check out some new events. At this point, I'm thinking I'll be sticking to sprint distance races but if my training still feels good as I increase the volume over the winter months, I might consider an olympic distance race. I don't know if I can say that I'm back yet, but I am certainly getting somewhere now and it is fantastic!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Some Answers, Some Hope

When I started this blog, I never thought that the whole first year I would be talking about injury.

When I named my bike Esperanza, which means Hope, I never realized how much meaning that would have for me in the year ahead.

But, finally, I have come to a point where the hope is coming back. I have a diagnosis and I have some answers and it looks like all is not lost.

I saw my doctor yesterday to go over the MRI results and find out the plan for the future. Indeed, I do have severe arthritis in my right hip and moderate arthritis in my left hip. It turns out that good old Tylenol is the drug of choice for arthritis treatment. I am going to buy shares in Tylenol because from now on, forever, I have to take 4000 mg per day! (Compare that to the 650 mg dose one would take for a headache.) Ongoing physio will also be necessary to prevent muscle tension around the joint and to strengthen my hip muscles to better support my joints. Down the road, I will be looking at hip replacements but that's down the road.

I am going to wait a week or so to let the Tylenol get the pain under control. Then I am going to gradually and sensibly return to training to start building my fitness back up. I am not going to rush. I will listen to my body and do as much as I can but not too much. I can only aim for sprint distance triathlons next year and, at this point, I can't add running back in yet, so we'll have to see where I end up. But it looks like I don't have to worry anymore about it being over for good!

The race season next year also depends on when my surgery date for the hysterectomy is. At the moment, it looks like it will be July or August 2011 so if all goes well with the arthritis management, I can probably do a couple races in May and June.

I am feeling hopeful now but there is still work to do with pain control and rehab. I'm happy to do it though because I feel like there's a point to it. I can still do triathlon and that's worth the effort!

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Old Grey Mare

When I was a kid, my dad used to joke with us when we were sick or injured that he should just take us out back and shoot us. (This, of course, is a reference to what happens to old horses and does not indicate that my dad has a horribly violent personality!)

Today, I am feeling like my dad's approach might be the best one for me. I am "only" 48 but I feel like I'm 100 years old and falling apart.

I had my MRI today. There were a few theories floating around about what was wrong: torn cartilage, bony hip impingement, bursitis, all of the above. They were going to do an arthrogram, where they inject dye into the joint to highlight the structures, but after the regular MRI pictures were taken, they decided not do proceed with the dye. The answer was already obvious: Advanced, bone-on-bone arthritis. I know this because I spoke to the radiologist when they were finished re-arranging my molecules.

What the heck? I mean, you might expect a little bit of "early degenerative changes" like other x-rays of my joints have shown in the past, but honestly, bone-on-bone?

Couple this wonderful discovery with another little age-related problem I have. Not to go into alarming detail but I have to have a hysterectomy in the next few months. What I need done is sort of specialized surgery so the waiting list is longer than usual. This means I'll probably have it next spring, just in time to screw up the race season for next year!

OK. It's looking more and more like this old grey mare really does need to be taken out behind the barn and put out of her misery. But, call me stupid, I'm not quite willing to lay down and die or be put out to pasture yet. The hysterectomy may be poorly timed but I'll get over that and will actually be better off afterward. Next week, I will see the doctor at the sports medicine clinic to talk about the MRI results and, more importantly, the implications they have for my future in triathlon. I'm pretty sure that there are people with arthritis who still participate in sport. Maybe there are exercises that can be done, pills that can be swallowed, weight that can be lost that will make it possible for me to do an ironman someday. Or maybe there won't be an ironman in my future but I can still do lots of short distance triathlons. We'll see. I'm not going to totally panic until I know more. I will wait and take it as it comes.

However, one thing I am going to do right now is go and take a few Glucosamine Sulfate capsules for whatever it's worth!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Banff

This past weekend I was in Banff for the Banff Triathlon - but I didn't do it. I went back and forth about whether I should do it but when I put my question on Facebook, I got a lot of support from my friends to let this one go this year. One friend suggested that I ask the race director if I could rollover my entry to next year and the RD said yes! I was so happy to be relieved of the stress of contemplating the race this year and even happier that I could still look forward to it next year!

I went to Banff anyway so I could watch my husband do the race. He is an ultramarathoner who throws in a tri every now and again. This was his first open water swim (in a race - his first one was in Lake Annette in Jasper last month). I was really proud of him. He is not a totally confident swimmer but he pulled off a great time in very cold water. Despite the cold, I think he really enjoyed the race. It seemed really well organized. It was exciting to watch. Part of me was happy not to be wet and cold like the athletes were that day but another little part of me really wished I could be out there, too. It was so nice to know that this year was a preview of what I will get to do next year!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wretched

I am feeling low and this post reflects it. I figure that since it's my blog I can post whatever sorry drivel I want but I do apologize to those of you who read my blog and have to see this.

I am feeling lonely, fat, and a bit poserish. I know that my situation is not the worst in the world by far. I don't have cancer or a chronic disease. Time will make all of this pass. The way I feel now is just a temporary phase in a process that will end. Still, it sucks.

I joined an online running forum and the Edmonton Triathlon Club so I could meet other triathletes, get to know them, and train and race with them. I ended up being elected as the vice-chair of the club a couple months ago. I really like the people in the club and want to be part of it. This summer they have done transition and brick workouts, Monday evening time trials and interval training, and Wednesday evening hill repeats. They are planning a rock climbing social. And I can't do any of it because of my hip. Many of my running forum friends are training with friends, racing, getting better and better, looking great, and signing up for Ironman races and I am sitting here getting fatter. I want to be part of it all but I feel like I'm on the periphery watching it all happen without me. I feel like a wannabe because I am limited in my ability to accomplish my goals. I feel like I have no friends.

Meanwhile, I am gaining weight, which, trust me, I don't need at all. I feel like an orca and now I'm embarrassed to try to get back into anything because I'm so far gone. Everyday I wake up and wonder if I'll be able to commit to eating well and doing whatever I can training wise and every day I just blow it because there doesn't seem to be any reason or much hope anyway.

Now, I know that feeling sorry for myself won't make things any better. There are some things I can do to move things forward. I could actually try to lose weight. I can do some strength training. I can ride my bike (except that I look like a cow on a tiny little aerodynamic bike). I have to do it alone, though, because everyone else is way ahead of me. No fun.

When will things come together so I am a fit triathlete with friends who run off and have triathlon fun together?

Why can't I just suck it all up and get on with it?